My General
by pistonsfan75
Summary: A one-shot about Mulan's thoughts before and after Qi Gong. This was chapter two from In Sickness and In Health, but I decided to give it its own title. Rated M for a bit of smut.


My general. The man that I love. Who loves me back.

The man that I almost lost forever. As we'd both dangled from that damaged rope bridge, you'd let go of my hand. Placed my life above yours.

We both knew the rope wouldn't hold us long enough for Chien Po, Yao and Ling to pull us to safety.

Hundreds of feet above the river, you let go of my hand. I screamed your name as I watched you fall. Right before, you'd said "Mulan, I'm sorry."

I'm sorry, too, my general. Who was no more.

I'm sorry for the fighting.

I'm sorry we didn't get to make things right before the bandits attacked and you nearly ended your life to save mine.

I didn't think there was any possible way you could have survived that 200 foot fall into the river. It was hazy and I didn't see you hit the water. It was too far down.

I'd stood there, at the top of the cliff, holding your sword, a thousand what-ifs swimming through my mind.

What if we hadn't both been on the bridge when the bandit slashed it?

What if we hadn't been fighting?

What if we had taken the river path Yao found the night before, instead of the mountain pass?

Standing there, holding your sword, I knew I had to stop wishing for what I couldn't change.

My general. The man that I love. You're gone. I'd do anything to bring you back.

Lightning flashed as I'd stared at the cold steel. For a second, I saw your face staring back at me. I realized I would never look into your eyes again.

Your solemn, handsome eyes. Now gone forever.

Just as you had done when your father died, I drove your sword into the ground. Then I clung to the hilt as if you would come back if I grasped it tight enough.

I stayed that way, my hands locked around that sword hilt, until the rain had stopped. Was it hours? Days?

My travel companions, my closest friends second to you, had finally approached me saying they were ready to go to Qi Gong.

They had found lifetime love with each other, my three friends and the three princesses. Yao and Mei, Ling and Ting Ting, Chien Po and Su.

Saying they were ready to go to Qi Gong meant the princesses were ready to be married to Lord Chin's son's.

I didn't want them to lose what they had just found. So I told them their orders were to take care of each other.

With a fierce look toward Qi Gong, I'd vowed to finish the mission. We would not go to war again. Not when I could stop it.

I was Fa Mulan, the heroine of China. That was my destiny, what I was born to do and would do again. I would marry the eldest son of Lord Chin and seal the peace alliance the emperor sought to forge with the Mongols.

I lost you. I would never love again. I would marry in the name of peace. I would give myself to him, my soon-to-be husband, on our wedding night, but my heart would always be in that river with you.

I will never forget you, my general.

I walked to Qi Gong. The bandits had taken the horses.

I entered their palace seeking audience with Lord Chin. He'd been expecting a whole entourage, but it was only me.

I had no princesses to present to him, but I offered myself as willing to marry his son. He didn't favor the idea, until his advisors intervened. Me, Fa Mulan, the heroine of China, bearing sons for his bloodline. A jewel in his crown.

It seemed to happen so fast. Suddenly, I was in Mongolian wedding garb holding a wine goblet. Staring at my reflection. Thinking of you, my general. A tear rolled down my cheek and fell into the wine.

Suddenly a star severed the sash joining mine and my groom's goblets.

You were riding through the crowd on your Imperial stallion.

My general. The man that I love. You're alive!

I dropped the goblet. I hardly noticed when it splashed on my dress. I ran to you, hoping you weren't just a ghost, a hallucination of my grief. But as you took my hands, I knew you were more than an illusion.

My general. The man that I love. You're here!

But then Lord Chin shoved you away from me, telling you to leave but you refused. You told him you love me and would marry me right then and there.

He called you an insolent dog. His guards started to grab you.

I can't lose you again, my general. I couldn't bear to see them take you. Will they kill you? Torture you for military information that you would have much of? I know you well enough that you wouldn't divulge anything to endanger the middle kingdom.

Then suddenly, my guardian dragon assumed the role of the Great Golden Dragon of Unity. The Mongols seek guidance from that deity in all they do.

A flash of fire caused the guards to let go of you. Lord Chin cowered behind you in fear.

A booming voice told everyone that we were meant to be together. That he decides who to unify. That his all-seeing eye had looked straight into the heart of China and he'd never seen two people more right for one another than you and me.

Then he declared us married. My general. The man that I love, forever and always.

I passed the torch of duty to the princesses. They decided to wed Lord Chin's sons, after all, to honor the vow they'd made to their emperor father.

The rest of us left Qi Gong. Yao, Ling and Chien Po traveled in silence. I knew they missed their new loves. I rode on your stallion with you. You rode with one hand on the reins and one arm around me. I actually missed Yao and Ling's fighting.

By the time we decided to set up camp for the night, you looked exhausted. Surviving your fall into the river must have taken all of your strength. The three soldiers offered to take first watch.

You set up your tent. I started to set up mine, but you reminded me we were married now. Would I like to share yours? Yes, I would.

Of course, our friends knew and teased us mercilessly. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. Did you really have to say "If the tent's a rockin', don't come a knockin'"? Was it necessary to tell them to keep their distance from our tent?

After lots of teasing, we went in the tent for the night. You wrapped your arms around me and kissed me like you never had before. I felt nervous. I was new to this. You took my face in your hands and told me you understood if I wanted to wait.

I didn't.

I wrapped my arms around your neck and we kissed again. In between kisses, we pulled each other's clothes off until you laid me down in just my underclothes. More kisses, and even that was gone. You kissed my neck, my breasts and my shoulders. Then you kissed my lips and I felt you inside me.

My general. The man that I love. I'm completely one with you now. You're mine. I'm yours.

For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. Til death do us part.


End file.
